counting down the days

Still in Lusaka although everyone that has been here has gone back and other people have come and even most of them have already gone back to their villages, but me, I am still here. Good news is that the chiropracter says that everything looks good, I have the strength back in my right arm which means that my collarbone is completely fine now. My nexk and back look good and even the muscle tension is getting better so really i'm just left with soreness around my sternum. Since the problems have been adequately addressed it is now just a matter of being patient and letting the rest heal on its own. It's still a little painful, but i am now only taking over the counter pain killers instead of the really strong ones and I'm able to do some stretches and work on getting my strength back. Overall I am feeling much better and I am looking forward to getting back to the village, although I will only be there for a few days before I leave for our semi anual Provincial meetings and then straight to Italy (yay!!!)

As much as I was looking forward to getting back to the village I am a little nervous and hesitant now. One reason is that I will not be there long enough to really do any work. I do need to drop of some papers and make sure that the 2 girls and mentor that were chosen to attend Camp GLOW (a camp for girls empowerment) have all the information they need so that they can get to the camp because I won't be around to help them with that. Another thing is that my host father has been calling Peace Corps to complain about me, he is mad that I have not been around. And he mentioned that when I was around I was not working in the village very often (He is right, lately I have given up on my village because they are to lazy to come to meetings or try new ag practices, and I have stared working more in nearby villages where people seem eager to learn and improve their lives.) My host father also said he was offended that I no longer eat with them (for the record I ate with them 3 times, the 3 times that they invited me, all in the first month I was at site, and I should say that one of those times I got food poisoning so I don't really care to eat with them again, but if they asked I would be polite and eat a little at least. Funny thing is they haven't invited me and it turns out even in Zambia it is not polite to show up and sit down for dinner if you were not invited or offered food. Personally, I think they want me to "eat" with them now because they sold all their maize for cash and now they have no food until their tomatoes can be sold for cash and they can buy maize back, at a higher price. Planning and budgeting is not big here they want the quick cash to get drunk immediately even if it cost more in the end. So now that they have no food, I bet they want me to show up for dinner and provide dinner for myself and their whole family, which I refuse. I hate to be unsympathetic, but I told them not to sell all their maize because then they wouldn't have food. So really it's their own fault if they are starving, and regardless, I don't get money to feed all of them in addition to myself and certainly not all the other families that would inevitably find out and start demanding food as well, even if they weren't starving.) Another issue he has is that I don't greet them enough or try to talk to them very much lately so he thinks I might be mad at him and his family (well you did eat my rabbit so I would have a pretty valid reason to be mad at you, but seeing as I'm no longer 5 years old I don't just start ignoring people if I am mad at them. In fact even after the rabbit thing I still greeted my family the same as always until I left and seeing as they don't have cell phones its not possible for me to greet them when I'm not there. It smells like a guilty concious to me. He did assure PC that he would look into the matter and find out who killed the rabbit which is what he told me almost a month ago!)Sorry for the rambling and tangents, but needless to say, I'm a little annoyed about this whole thing. And my host father has made it sound like the whole village is mad/disappointed in me and they don't really want me around anymore, even though they are mad that I am not around? I guess I will know more after I go back, but part of me is dreading going back and having to deal with this conflict and in another language at that. Anyway thats pretty much what has been going on with me. I have an 8:00 appointment tomorrow and then I should be able to leave and go back to Serenje, where all my stuff is. Then Sat morning I plan to make my way back to the village (even though I'm supposed to stay at the house and rest.)

This morning I listened to one of my favorite Starting Line songs "counting down the days til California comes." Although, this whole time I have been counting down the days until I could go back to my village, I'm suddenly not so excited about that (I am still super excited to see my kitty and I hope she doesn't get too lonely and run away because that would make me really sad) and I am definitely dreading provincials when all of us volunteers will be stuck together in the relatively small house. Instead I am now counting down the days until Italy (yay again!) 10 days until I am on my way!!! (For those of you that haven't heard, I am meeting my momma in Italy in just 10 days after not seeing her for almost 10 months!)

PS I apologize for all the ! because it usually annoys me when I read stuff with a lot of !