harrassment

Harrassment is a constant here in Zambia. As a white person here you are life a fish in a fishbowl, you're entire life is for others to watch and there is almost no privacy except if you hide in your rock castle or mud hut. I mean I got used to the stares pretty quickly. And I did realize that if I were just chilling on my front porch back home in the US and I saw an elephant walk by I would be intrigued, I would obviously stare and maybe even sneak outside to get a better view, possibly even follow it a bit. Elephants are not native to America and you don't see them very often, certainly not right outside your house! I mean maybe you've seen them before at a zoo or circus or even just on tv/in a magazine, but never outside roaming around in your area. This is partly how I justify the otherwise rude behaviour of other Zambians toward white people, especially out in the villages. Anyway, aside from the staring which comes from everyone, although most common in chidlren, there is the harrassment from Zambian men. They almost always want to marry you, and not only do they act that way, they most often walk up to you as a perfect stranger and flat out declare that they want to marry you. Sometimes they just say "i want to marry a white woman." There are many different ways to deal with this. If I'm slightly annoyed I will usually just ignore them and walk away. If I get angry or if they act really inappropriate, I will call them stupid, rude, etc. tell them to shut up and go away, al in Bemba of course. However, when I'm in a good mood and not busy I will just mess with them which can be highly entertaining for myself. Sometimes I tell them seriously that I will marry them if they send 200 head of cattle to my father in America. Sometimes I say I will marry them if they will cook nshima for me, wash my clothes, collect water etc. (all the womens job) this really shocks them because one of the main reasons for getting a wife while you're young is so you don't have to do any of this for yourself. Sometimes I tell them I'm married and my husband will be very angry if he ever sees another man talking to me then at some point I shout a greeting to my "husband" and watch the man run. It my sound lame, but I live in a rural village so sometiems I'm pretty esperate for whatever source of entertainment I can get. Also, it helps to turn it into something fun, like a game, because then I don't get so frustrated with it all. Still, even with my overall good attitude towards the excess attention from almost every Zambian man, sometimes, I just want to be left alone. Unfortunately, I discovered today that there is essentially no where you can go where you can avoid this unwanted attention. I'm currently in Lusaka, and actually there are a lot of white people around, especially in the neighborhood that I am staying in and around the shopping center where I spent most of the day. So with more options you think some of the attention might be diverted and in fact it probably is, but apparently there is still plenty to go around. The reason I bring this up is because I went to church today (It was actually I great church and I really enjoyed being able to fellowship with so many other christians, Zambians, Indians, Asians, and even other mzungus but I'll talk about that more some other time, if I remember.) This boy sat down next to me, like a high schooler-later he told me he was 16. And he started chatting about the church and I gave yes or no responses to his questions without ever looking away from the stage trying to give the signal that i didn't want to be rude, but i was trying to listen to the service. Then he when we were told to introduce ourselves to people around us he told me his name and asked for mine so I told him. After greeting a few other people we all sat down and a few minutes later this kid leans over and says "I thought your name would be summer" I said "no" and cringed a little because i do hate the Zambian tendency to say I thought that... and keep insisting that they thought whatever even though they've already been told that what they thought was wrong so they should just stop talking about it! (I beleive I've already discussed that in a previous blog.) Then I sat for a full minute wondering where the summer thing came from, then he leans over agian and says "because you're so hot." All I could say was wow, and not in an excited tone at all. Usually zambians are very direct in this matter and just flat out say the want to marry you, even if they don't know you at all. I've never heard any sort of pick up line, so I was pretty surprised here, even if it is Lusakaland. As much as I love cheasy pick up lines, and I've actually never heard that one before, I was very annoyed that he was being to chatty in church. I then had to tell him to please be quiet so i could listen to the service. That shut him up for the remainder of the service and as soon as he started chatting again on the way out I just said look kid you're like 15, thats far too young, go look for someone your own age. I don't think I full convinced him that I was actually in my 20s but o well, I walked fast fast and he got ost in the crowd. Really I just couldn't beleive that in church of all places I would be bothered like that. I mean maybe before or after the service, but during it...really?